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Calvin was called a witch but he knew one thing, opium keeps kids quiet during Days of Our Lives.

“Sorry ladies, you must be this tall to ride this ride… and a boy.” 

Raphael ruled with an iron fist. Shortly after insisting on an upgrade for his Easy-Bake Oven, he fired his mother for using a metal mixing spoon.

Gaiety, Joy, and Frolic: A Guide to the Dangers of Gay Adoption

The subject quickly switched back to Doreen’s new haircut. “It’s not butch. It’s like Demi Moore’s from Ghost,” she explained. 

Everybody was praying for Anthony, but he had just one question, “If this doesn’t work, can I move back to San Francisco?”

Milicent didn’t think that Liz’s FTM transition would mean she would be married to her father, but here she was bringing “Tom” a second stein of grog.

Archibald was skilled at finding out-of-the-way nooks for some alone time with his flute.

PLEASANTVILLE, IOWA (AP) - Pleasantville’s 2nd Annual Gay Pride Parade was deemed a success after the participants had doubled from two to four from the previous year.

Dana didn’t give a fuck what time it was, she was going to go find the Princess.